Up in the Kaveman’s Dig

OK now I’m not prone to writing stuff about dating and sounding like the Dr. Phil of today, something I read online tonight which seems like a breathe of fresh air in an otherwise stale few weeks, but a longshot at a topic that seems to drone on and on for centuries can seem at times to be useful to the average joe or even the seasoned expert. At least it kept me amused at 3:15 in the morning (….this stuff is partially edited by moi btw…)

1) You guys discover quirky things you have in common. Its one thing to discover you both like the new Coldplay album and its another to discover your tastes and habits in more surprising ways. People are often fooled (especially if you’ve fallen for someone that doesn’t really like you back, I’ve fallen into this category a few times…and it sux) that they think they’re a match because they have things in common that many people have in common. I remember I liked this girl once that whenever a top 10 single played on a CD or aired somewhere on the radio, she’d spurt out "I love this song" and I’d quickly follow up (without thinking now that I think about it :p ) with a resounding "no way! me too!" I must have sounded like a fool everytime I said that.

2) Neither of you flinch when the future comes up. This is a total nightmare for beginning dates like one of you blurst out something like "oohh next summer we should go to Greece" - and then freezes, fearing the other person wll think, "Next summer?" I don’t even know if we’ll make it to next month! But if you and your date don’t even blink, or better still, smile and agree, then you’ve crossed that crucial divide. It’s a sign that both of you feel stable in the relationship. Not that you should start planning what to do next Christmas, but definitely take notes the next time if you do some advance planning.

3) It’s important that your friends like your nes date. It’s a hard sign that he/she is a date rather that a fling. Introducing your date to your parents is one thing, for me, I’d really only introduce my date to my parents if I think they would like her in the first place, which is rarely the case cuz the girls I like seem to be wild and crazy and totally wrong for me… haha. But think about it, parents you can’t choose. Friends you can, especially if you’re old like me, (a few years then the big 3-0, man feelin old again) so they reflect the person you’ve become over the years. So if you find yourself prepping your pals about someone you’d "really like them to meet" you can rule "fling" out and "date" in.

4) You think in terms of "we" even when the situation is tough. When you find yourself transitioning from "Hey, what are you doing Saturday night? to "Hey, what are WE doing Saturday night? Which I only think I’ve done twice in my life, this is pretty natural and something you ought to be doing if you’re going steady. But how about if one of you wants to leave the party early, do you walk out together happily or do you feel annoyed and rather want to stay on your own. If your boss wants you to plan a business trip, do you wonder whether it fits with your baby’s schedule? This is my all-time fav. Cuz it happens all the time.

5) You constantly stumble across thing you want to share. Most dates will exchage a few "I’m thinking of you" phone calls or "remember to wear more clothes today, it’s getting colder" sms’s or "do you miss me?" for the person who needs that extra bit of security. But if you can’t walk down the street without tripping over some funny story to tell him/her later or leave a store without thinking at least once "my baby would love that…" then things are rosy. Basially it’s a sing that while you may not realize that you’re thinking about your date, you are and just can’t help it.

It gets better, I’m gonna put a parody of 5 signs you’ve met your dream guy/girl to 5 signs you’re headed towards a dead end. But this blog is too long already and it’s friggin’ 4am now, so I’m gonna leave it for my next blog. ciao.

Man, I feel like a sissy. So really what does one do on a one night stand. Suffice it to say, whether or not I had one is personal..so…..neh. Anyway the point is, does it all end after the one night? or are there words said like along the lines of "thanks for a lovely evening". The whole all important call the next morning to see how she (or he, depends on whether ure a boy or a girl), and whether or not you want it to be a two, three, four night stand. And where in the book does it say that you can’t make a long term/short term, relationship out of it. Here’s my look on things. ALWAYS be the gentleman, no matter if she screwing (literally…heheh) with you, or she really really likes you…you still gotta treat her with respect. GIrls, correct me if I’m wrong: but girls usually don’t show their true nature to you esp. if they are just starting out with you, and even when they’re dating you, they still won’t probably show you their true selves much into the relationship. I think I know of a few married people whose wives I still think are holding back…just think of all those rich/ugly guys with all the hot chicks. Those guys certainly don’t wanna get to know the girl, nor does the girl wanna get to know the guy…money/sex, trade off. I think I am still living in the middle ages.